Beyond Victories

Goals. You just did it. You achieved something you've been working at for a while. You worked hard and you guessed it payed off. Finally. But where do you go from there? Do you just celebrate and move on? Do you celebrate nonstop? Depending on who you are, there are many avenues for you to go down. I'd say, take a moment to relax and breathe. You have just put in your utmost time and effort. Then, try to build your momentum again. Getting that victory might just be what you need to really build your confidence and climb even higher mountains. 

Try and figure out what this win means for you. Monitoring your progress allows you to still have something to work towards and help yourself seize the next opportunity that you can take advantage of for your benefit. If you are about that growth mindset, you are already beyond successful. Training your mind to want to focus on getting better is key to chasing after your biggest dreams. Focus on what you will do. Focus on the new pathways you have opened up for yourself with this past win. Focus on what you have right in front of you and how you can use it to get to where you want to be. 

Don't get me wrong though. I don't want you to overlook your victories. By all means, celebrate them! You deserve it! It's just that I don't want to see people let go of the success that they have spent years and years developing. I don't want it to be a reason for someone to give up now that they achieved a particular goal. Imagine all the things that you can do now that you were able to accomplish that certain goal. Have the grit, perseverance, and motivation to go even further. Picture that second mountain to climb and repeat the process once more. This time, you are probably going to have more confidence knowing that you are able to accomplish anything you put your mind to. 

Analyze that victory of yours. Try and see if there is anything you could learn from or imitate in the future. Pick up the good habits and any minor smudges as lessons to tackle your next endeavor. Not only do you have to learn from the mistakes, but you can also learn from the victories and what it took for you to get there. Take into amount the routines you set up for yourself, the mindset you had days before the event, the stamina you built over a long period of time to get you to this very success. Try to evaluate these factors and bring them all together to set up your next big win. You know you have it in you. 

-N

Anything but an Inverse Relationship

Preparation. Hard work will pay off some day. Stick to what you are doing no matter how hard things get. Pull the all-nighters, spend the hours from the first crack of dawn, even though you just want to be done. The quality of intense effort and focused execution to follow through with your goals are the most important aspects of reaching success. Following the game plan and not making short cuts, checking off the steps you have set up for yourself to complete, and talking to yourself in the mirror every day for that extra boost in confidence. 

I used to be very skeptical about this idea. I would always see those people who claim that they didn't work hard, but their results would prove the opposite. They had to have been doing something. How could they just slack off and succeed beyond their goals? Then I realized that they weren't telling me about it. Behind the scenes, they were putting in their blood, sweat, and tears without anyone knowing. No one told them that they had to. It came from within. They wanted to do well and were willing to do whatever it took. You have to really want it. It has to come from you. Maybe just doing the homework required or the practice outside of the sport is not enough. The best athletes and students keep it hush hush. They are exceeding the level of effort and hard work that is expected from them. 

And sometimes all it takes is a wakeup call. Sometimes we have to make a mistake to remind us to get back to work. Distractions, wasting time with unimportant factors, and procrastinating the work that we planned to get done are all mistakes that we make. But do we keep making them or do we take a look in the mirror and convince ourself that we need to stop? We shake ourselves out of that slump and remind ourselves of our goal. We must be willing to say no to pleasurable activities to focus on achieving our goal. But that should never be a burden holding us back. It should be something we are fine doing because it will get us to where we want to be. Hard work and success are directly proportional. We will see our results. That's just the way it is. 

Nothing you want to work will happen. You have to work for something to happen. Write down your goals and remind yourself every day if you are doing everything necessary to meet those expectations. Take a look in the mirror and talk to yourself to boost your confidence. Tell yourself that you are going to get the job done. Tell yourself that you can do it. Tell yourself to smile and do your best. Tell yourself that you got this. It's a conversation worth having. With the right attitude and determination, the world is yours!

-N

That 100%, all natural!

Lies. At some point or another, you probably will be caught in a situation where lying seems like the best option. Whether it be to hide your identity, to promote yourself under the spotlight, or simply to get away with something, there is not a doubt in my mind where we have all lied or at least, considered lying. But beyond making up wild stories for acceptance and selfish desires, lying to ourselves is arguably the worst kind there is. 

Being true to yourself starts with self awareness and a realization of who you want to be in the world. Knowing your aspirations, strengths, and even limitations are a step towards fully understanding and accepting who you are. Being true to yourself comes with pinpointing how you want to live your life. You are in control, and you have complete power in making decisions throughout your life. Being true to yourself means that you aren't caught up with trying to please everyone around you. You shouldn't have to lose yourself in order to prove yourself. Constantly trying to cater to everyone's needs will twist you in different directions. You don't have to compromise who you are. You don't have to take every suggestion from someone and change what makes you unique. Being true to yourself is something that only you can do. No one can tell you how to be you. 

So what is your importance in life? What do you value on a daily basis? What makes you feel confident and proud of exactly who you are? What gets you motivated to go out and achieve your goals? Everyone has their own set of values and beliefs that make them who they are. No one should feel that they have to outright violate them for the sake of someone else. You are free to be exactly who you are! I feel like this sense of belonging is extremely important to teenagers in our generation. Nowadays people will go to whatever extent to fit in to certain groups. Yes, I do realize that it seems super cliché but it happens. And, quite frankly, it's sad that we feel the need to do it. 

The desire for acceptance and belonging is very strong. It makes us feel like we have a safe place to be who we are. But, why must we change who we are just to be in a place where we can later feel at home? Isn't it easier to just fit in with a group of people who enjoy who you are for exactly those same qualities? There are people in the world, as hard as it might seem, who do value you without the changes. Those friendships are the ones that last. With these people, you can remain true to your own beliefs and not have to violate them to know that they will support you no matter what. People notice your unique self. It's when you start to become someone else that those true friends question why you made changes in the first place.

It's hard to stick to your own believes and stay true to yourself in a world full of judgment. Instead of programming yourself to be loved by others, remember what you love! From there, you are on the path to accepting who you are and are ready to encounter those who love you exactly for that reason. You deserve to be 100% all natural you, with no artificial traits!

-N

Summer!

{Sorry! I'd first like to start off by apologizing because I haven't been here for more than 2 months. That's completely on me. The stress of finals and trying to raise my grades in school required all of my attention and as a result, I didn't really have the time to sit down and write. However, writing is definitely something I want to keep doing so hopefully I can keep posting as much as I used to! Sorry once again, but I hope you enjoy!}

Finally! We have waited so long for this break. We have endured sleepless nights, awkward situations, what seemed like endless homework, grueling tests, and here we are. But, let's not delve into the details that made this past year stressful: those are moments we probably want to forget for as long as we can. I'm totally with you on that one. If I could describe this year in two words it would be a year full of "constant change". Socially and academically, I feel like this year hit me with so many curveballs and I had to change a lot of what I was doing in the past. Learning new study habits, hanging out with new people, and adapting a new plan for organization were some of the defined moments of this year that have changed me for the better. 

I know that it's a feeling of relief for most of us and that we just want to enjoy the break that we have, but did we really only associate the past year with negative thoughts? Are you telling me that there were no moments of pure joy when messing around with your friends in between classes? Were there really no moments of jokes, smiles, and sarcasm that made you burst into extreme laughter until your stomach started to hurt? Did you start to remember what it felt like to genuinely appreciate everyone in your life? Did the breakthroughs in raising your grades or finally grasping a concept go unnoticed in your past year? I'm sure, if you try hard enough, you can remember a positive memorable moment from the past school year. The good memories are often overlooked even though they have changed the course of the rest of our high school years.

But, now we do have a break. A time to rest, recover, and rejuvenate from the good effort that we put in last year. We can do all the things we told ourselves that we would do if we ever had extra time. We can catch up on all of our shows, we can stay up as late as we want, we can forget about setting alarms, and we can make plans to have a blast this summer. We are young, and we can make memories that will last us a lifetime. Try new things, visit new places, reconnect with old friends, keep up relationships with the people you care about, make time for you and your family! 

There hasn't been a better time to do so. It's been a long year and we deserve it. Go out and have a little fun. Make it a summer to remember. Try to make it more memorable than last year. Go after your interests, passions, and dreams. If you are pondering your professional future, start to think about taking the first steps to get there. If you have always wanted to start something, now is the perfect time. You name it and just go after it. Think about the things you want to accomplish this summer and make a list. After each completion, check it off! So what if you don't get through them all. Don't feel like you need to achieve everything in a 2-3 month interval. Without feeling stress, do what you want to get done. It's up to you! You are in charge, so just make the most of it! 

-N

Your Worth

Dignity. A sense of pride in oneself. It might be hard for someone to see their own; however, it should exist. Your self-worth will stay with you, and time over time, you might find it fluctuating. But, if there is one thing I've learned as a teenager, it's that we must be head strong. We must feel good about ourselves. We must be confident and take on whatever endeavors that lie in front of us. Who cares if someone doubts you? Who cares if you fall down? What matters is that you get up and keep getting up. You have a value and people should know better than to mess with it.

Sometimes I feel like this happens when we compare ourselves to others. There is no doubt that our generation of kids are crazy talented. I am proud of be among these ambitious and prodigious teenagers. I also know that it is intimidating when kids our age are able to accomplish so much. You start to wonder what it is that you are doing wrong or missing out on. We are both given the same privileges, but how does she succeed like that? I have never been deprived or held back, but how is he able to achieve at that level. Sure, there are some kids who are just geniuses. It starts to get to you. The fact that you could be doing more but you are stuck among the "ordinary" crowd. Being different used to be humiliating, but now, those are the people who are noticed for the good that they do. However, you are not in control of other people. You are only in control of yourself. If you want to accomplish things, work hard and go for it! But, don't feel like you are worse than them. I think it's just hard to remember that if all of us were above average, there would still be kids who are somehow even better than that. 

Realizing that you are important is the first step. Simply, you need to feel good about yourself. You need to love and motivate yourself before you can succeed. We are always wound up in getting the results before we can celebrate, but how can we get there without the motivation? Dwelling on the bad things and the failures that keep occurring will consume you. You will find that you are digging yourself out of a hole that is miles and miles too deep. But, you will try anyway. You won't give up until you get there. You are not defined by your failures. It's your reaction to them that shapes your character. Don't ever feel sorry for yourself. If you want to achieve something, you will as long as you are honest with yourself regarding the amount of effort that you put in to your desired goal.

Just remember that loving yourself is not the same has having a big ego. Being there for yourself is different than thinking that you are better than everyone else. Taking care of yourself is being your own number one fan, accepting who you are, pushing yourself to succeed, reminding yourself that you are loved, and by doing so you can inspire others to do the same. You aren't putting others down in the process. You are just expressing who you are and that you are important. You were meant to be here, 100%. If you find yourself constantly proving yourself to others, you have lost track of your own worth. "When you learn how much you're worth, you will stop giving people discounts" Know you you are, no one should be able to take that from you. You give people your best and you only deserve the best. Now no one can make you feel worthless.

-N

Be the Bigger Person

Pettiness. Especially when things don't go as expected, pettiness is something that consumes us. That is, if we let it. We all get angry, we all get hurt, and we all have thought about firing back. Retaliation and revenge never looked good when someone is hating on you or putting you down. When people act out, they are trying to get a reaction out of you. They are trying to provoke you. Sometimes they don't even have the nerve to do it to your face, so they decide to hurt you indirectly, slowly getting on your nerves. How do you react? As satisfying as it might seem in the moment, don't go after them. They are not worth your time or energy. Choose the path of one who remains calm and overcomes the difficult times. 

If we choose to go after them, all we do is become them. What we don't realize is that we are stooping to their level. The one getting bullied becomes the bully, and that's how quick the tables turn. Trust me, this is the last thing you want. These people want to see you suffer. In fact, if you react such that you are unbothered, then they are not fulfilled in their purpose of putting you down. Think about how they think they are making themselves look better than you. At this moment in time, it is your self control that is your superpower. We must be able to use our control and resist the temptation of payback. 

Sometimes staying silent and moving on is better. However, we don't have to listen to them. Being silent doesn't make us weak. We are mature enough to accept that there are people in the world who lack the confidence in themselves, making them take their anger out on other people. By being silent, we are not accepting the harsh things they say. We do not succumb to the blows that fire out of their mouths. They have not found the peace within to let you go. They still have some connection to you and are completely unaware of how they are impacting you. Their loss.

As tough as it might be, focus your energy on moving forward. They might shoot you dirty looks, or just flat out ignore you, but don't let if affect you. Make sure you take just the right amount of time to get over them, but after that, there is no reason for you to be hurt. You deserve so much better. You will find that group of people who make you forget about retaliating. They value your presence and you are genuinely happy. You will soon realize that you have never smiled more, laughed more, or felt more alive with any other group of people. Surround yourself with these people who make you value each day. You are nothing like the people who came after you. You are so much better. You knew when enough was enough, and you made the great choice of being the bigger person. And look at you now! 

-N

Unconditional Friendships

Loyalty. True friends. How do you know who they are? Are they willing to keep your promises? Are they willing to stand by you when you need it the most? Are they willing to tell you the truth? Remaining loyal to your friends is seriously so important, and we should never underestimate the value of certain friendships. People who are fake, people who only come to you when they want something, or people who do things expecting something in return are not worth our time. I know it might seem that you had a great run with a friend and you are scared to see the friendship end, but you don't want it to hold you back! 

In the heat of the moment, it's really sad. The one person you thought you could trust turns their back on you and trades up. You are left there quite literally clueless and wondering what you did wrong. "I'm not even going to tell you what you did wrong, you should know. My friendship with you is only conditional, but other than when I want something from you, we aren't friends." Is this what my 'friends' think of me? All these ridiculous thoughts flood your mind and it comes to a point where it feels real, even though these 'friends' didn't have the nerve to say it to your face. At this point, you must be tired of all their troubles. You start to feel like you've been wasting your time. It drives you insane that you didn't see it before. So you know what? You don't have to put the blame on yourself! You don't have to automatically assume it's because of something you did or didn't do. You don't have to be stepped on and remain powerless. I know it's hard, but you can choose to move on to bigger and better things. 

To anyone reading this, if you have a friend or a group of people who you genuinely care about, keep caring for them. Keep being thoughtful and supportive. Please, don't disappear. Loyal friends will be there for you even when you are wrong. You don't have to fight for them to listen to you, it's their instinct. You don't have to constantly ask if they are okay, you know just by their expression. You don't have to beg for their presence, they show up. It's a two-way street. The concept of paying someone back is simply unnecessary! They do what they do because they admire you. They do what they do because you mean something to them. They don't have to do it to get something in return, they do it because they want to see you happy. Your happiness is their happiness. They just want to be there for you in your best and worst moments.

God forbid a friend treats you in the opposite way, especially when you seriously valued their friendship, don't be afraid to strengthen new relationships. But you don't have to completely forget them. Just because things changed doesn't mean you should feel the need to dislike the other person. Instead of them being a friend who will leave a mark on you, they left a scar. You can be the bigger person and wish them the best. In the end, they were the people who made you aware of those you truly cherish in your life. In a strange way, they made you a better person. They prepared you for exciting relationships in your future. I guess that's just another crazy way that life works out. You do you and keep the true friends close to your heart. Now those are the ones you were always meant to make memories with!

-N