Swearing, Just Words?

Anger. If you have ever played a competitive sport, or lived a healthy social life, you know that anger is a driving emotion. In my opinion, it is among the most powerful feelings. Whether we admit it or not, there is something satisfying about letting all your anger out. You all know it. That let it all out feeling, just go go go. That powerful feeling of adrenaline surging through your body can make you feel unstoppable. Basically, some way or another, anger has to be released. There are countless ways of blowing off steam. Taking deep breaths, clenching your fists, screaming into a pillow, you name them! As unique as everyone is, there are certain trends in the ways that people deal with anger and the most obvious is swearing.

There are countless “swear words” to choose from. When chosen wisely, they can liven up a conversation, convey strong emotions, and even give the user a sense of power. Honestly, where would Eminem be if all of his songs were rated PG? However, they can also be weapons that you did not ever intend to use. Dealing with irascible people can result in confusing responses that leave people wondering, “WTF just happened?”

You might be in a bad mood for whatever reason and before you know it, words just slip out. When you have a lot of work to do and a friend hits you up, you might say, S**t, can I be alone for one minute? or I’m trying to f**king work. What do you want from me? In the moment, you feel strong, but a minute passes… and another minute. As your response is left on read, you start to feel uneasy. That feeling progresses to a deeper sense of regret and sometimes denial. You start to think, Was that really necessary? It wasn’t completely uncalled for. 

My choice of lifestyle, the non swearing kind, is my choice. Believe me when I say that I am not here to turn you into me. I am not trying to make you speak differently or even “do” anything. I just want you to think. Sometimes, all it takes is to recite one sentence: How would I feel if I were them? That's it. Empathy is what makes an advanced civilization possible. Without empathy, people would only care about themselves and it's pretty obvious that selfish people do not work together very well. Call me cliché, but the only trait that separates us from animals is the ability to work together.


As long as you mentally recite those vital eight words, I don’t care what you say or how you say it. Just say it knowing the full consequences of your words. Long story short, don’t be an animal; have some empathy. I know we can all do it! Give it a shot!

It was really fun writing this piece with my friend, and phenomenal writer, Aidan Truel, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed preparing it (:

You're Either With Me or You're Not

Spotlight. Something that everyone wants so badly that they are willing to steal it from any person in order to gain attention. Any ounce of success has to be shared with someone else, or it's considered selfish. It's now selfish to take the credit for something that you did, when everyone else didn't believe that you could....sounds weird, right? To top it off, with every ounce of failure, you are left in an abyss of loneliness and despair. No one wants to share the bumps in the road. Everyone just leaves you in the dust. They say, I told you so. And, you are just a loser-- so much potential gone to waste. 

People will expect to be thanked. People will say that because of them you succeeded. Why is that? It's as if they don't want to be embarrassed by you, like a competition of who can be the best in life. Or like a pageant, some might say, where everyone is trying to promote themselves as the best friends, or even parents. Everyone else sees other people achieving amazing things without you, and suddenly everyone is telling you to give up on your dreams. When you are struggling, all the praise is silenced. When everyone else leaves, the confidence can only come from you. Various tapes of insults play on repeat, and it starts to become your motivation. You realize that you are putting in all your hard work, for someone else. You are doing all of this just to get recognition and appreciation from that one person. Meanwhile, that one person only sees you when you win. Otherwise, they don't really understand how hard you work or how long it takes to finally stand out. They think winning is easy for you and it can be done in every single attempt.  

Sure, you are going to get guidance and help along the way but in the end it is up to you. Your actions speak louder than your words and you must be careful to remain honest to yourself. You don't have to continuously prove to the world that you are getting your work done, as long as you are proving it to yourself. I encourage you to ignore all of the negative comments, as hard as it might be. You don't have to take it from them, and don't let it get in your way. You don't have to surrender. You are your own incredible individual, and you are on track for a beautiful future. 

And don't worry, you are not selfish. You will know when people were genuinely helping you succeed, and when people were only motivated to help you for recognition in the future. When I win, it will be for me, and absolutely no one else. 

-N

Who Cares?

Quit. You tell me. You are wasting your time. You threaten me. You make me feel like I am abandoned, so why are you doing this to me? The words coming out of your mouth are continuous, without hesitation, and even silence fears your presence... and you keep shouting. You won't shut up. And me, I still don't know what I did that made you suddenly snap at me. What's wrong with doing what you love with the people who you enjoy spending your time with? Is that such a crime? The ugly truth is that there will always be party poopers. Just when you think that you are having a good time, they will rush to drag you down and ruin your moment. All that happiness has just been ruined by a single person in a flash. The worst part is, they think they know you well enough to put a label on who you are. 

Why does their opinion even matter? Keep on doing what you love! Do whatever makes you smile and laugh! Of course, there are self-explanatory things that you kind of have to do in order to get to your dream future, but that doesn't mean that you have to completely disregard your happiness right now. Try new things, make new friends, share more memories so you have something to smile about later, like when you are working hard to get to where you want to be. It is true- you can have both success and happiness. Working hard is a given but please, don't give up on the activities that you truly enjoyed just because you thought it would serve as a distraction. Also, don't just do things because it is supposed to guarantee a specific career. Pursue the actives that are unique to you, and couple that with some dedication and perseverance. Now you are good to go!

It really doesn't even matter what they think. No one can tell you how to live your life, it is simply ridiculous. After all, success comes from a genuine passion for what you do!

-N 

My Purpose: #SpreadHappiness

Smiles. The priceless and unique actions that seem to glow forever, though it may have only lasted a second. Making someone smile, now that's a whole other story. I cannot even begin to explain the meaning behind that feeling of pure happiness and joy. It's a feeling like no other when a smile, as enchanting as a birth of a star, begins to emerge from your beautiful face. 

To all my strangers, peers, friends, and family, I have only ever wanted to spread happiness in my life. So please excuse the excessive Thank you's and apologies, because I just want to keep you in a positive mood. Please excuse the random smiles that I throw at you on the street, because I just want to be kind. To me, there is no other feeling so comforting when you make someone's day with a sweet and simple gesture. Making people happy and keeping the world smiling is definitely a huge component to the legacy I want to leave behind. I know, it may seem simple, but I have always wanted to make a difference in our world and sharing stories of hope and optimism is how I want to get started. Knowing that you were the light in someone's hour of darkness, is the most rewarding thing to me and I strive to make these moments occur on a fairly regular basis. 

So I challenge you to be the bigger person, take the high road, and continue the cycle of kindness in our society. Be the change you want to see in our world. There are so many beautiful, heart-warming reasons to be happy and I'd love for you to share them among each other. Happiness is a very contagious thing, because your smile will cause another person to smile and soon you'll have a room full of happy people. Share the love and be empowered to step out of your comfort zone in order to be the positive energy that our world could use a lot of.   

-N

A Little Message That Couldn't Wait

Seriously. What did I ever do to you...
That makes you think I suck?
That makes you think I can never be successful?
That makes you think that I'm a loser?

Trust me, I know that I've really screwed up. But stop reminding me of who I used to be. I'm going to try to change, I promise. I want to do this for me, definitely not for you. It's my life. Let me take control. 

You're really not helping me. I heard you the first time. Changing myself is going to take time and you're just going to have to accept that. I know you're trying to get me to change, and I really appreciate that, it's just that I can only be the one who gets me to change. 

I know you think that I'm just trying to ignore you, but that is far from the truth. I want to change so much, I want to be successful, I don't want to be a loser. I think about this all the time, it really drives me insane sometimes. But, that is how badly I want this. 

Please, all I need right now is to believe in myself. Every time you remind me of my past, it is an obstacle that prevents me from ever getting to my future. I just need the support, it really means the world to me. I just got to keep going, keep trying, and keep attempting to change myself. 

Just one question, do you think that because I screwed up, that I can't get back to where I used to be and perform even better? Why is this the last of me? Why was my past the peak in this lifetime? Everyone falls down, you say, so why can't I? Was my mistake so big that I don't deserve to see success at all? Well, I guess you are allowed to make your own opinions. 

But, if I were you and I really cared about the well being of my friend/family member, I would really build them up. I'd make them feel that they can put their mind to anything and accomplish it all. I'd appreciate them and make sure they know that I am never going to completely give up on them. I'd give them the confidence to get over their fear of failure and finally improve. They would have my complete and utter support to be able to fall and get right back up. They would be able to realize that the secret to success comes mainly from extreme preparation and belief in themselves. They would realize that there had just been some subconscious and hidden potential that was just eager to be discovered. They would be able to tap into that "zone" and just give it their all in every circumstance. After all, what do they really have to lose? What's the worst that could happen?

-N

I Forgive You

Mistakes. They happen to everyone, it's what makes us human. I feel like teenagers are hurt by mistakes more than anyone else. We feel that after each mistake we will lose your respect and end up unloved, which is why we stress about each and every slight move. Ironically, despite how careful we try to be, we still end up making tons of slip-ups. It's a fact-- teenagers, at one point or another, will mess up. The anger and frustration that you have towards yourself builds at an exponential rate. There's no other way to describe it other than you are literally stuck in a mental cage of loneliness and fear that prevents you from wanting to fix your situation. You haven't got the slightest idea of what to do and you just sit there, frozen, with your fists clenched, blaming yourself for every little thing. What is he going to say when he finds out? How will she react? Will they ever forget? 

Three words. You won't believe how much of an impact these words have on us. They are probably the second most important three words after, "I love you". We need to know that this mistake is not the end of the world. We need to know that there is room for us to fall down and get back up. It's OK to make mistakes! Yes, I am a teenager. And yes, I've messed up a huge number of times, and I still mess up...often. I know, they make you feel worthless. If one thing is true, it is the fact that mistakes are the best teachers. When you slip up, your mental toughness is tested and hopefully proven as strong. Mistakes teach you to be fearless in your decision making and how to deal with disappointments. You will really be a stronger person, I just know it. So keep your chin up, bring out that beautiful smile, and get ready to learn...a lot.

I know. I screwed up and I'm so sorry. If you aren't ready to accept me and my mistake, I understand. But, please don't shut me out. Tell me what I have to do to regain your trust and I'll do it. The dark cave of fear is too much to bear. Please, put me out of my misery and say something. 

"I forgive you". 

-N

Prove Them Wrong

Haters. You know them, they're everywhere. Constantly trying to mess you up. Consistently doubting you. Their voices echo in your heads and shake your entire world. They have one goal in life and that is to make sure you fail.  Hopeless, spoiled, disgraceful, are some of the words that fire out of their mouths like bullets. Except these guns never run out of fire. When you think that you've escaped them, out comes another! You can't run from them. You try to fight back, you try to forget, you try to hide. But, try as you might, it just doesn't work. Even when all the commotion is too much to bear, it gets louder and louder. The sound of your pounding heart combined with the muffling noise of the bullies is too overwhelming. You try to gasp for air and you're shoved back down into the violence and harm. They don't know when they've gone too far and they keep pinning you to the ground, leaving you incapable of accomplishing great things. Your cry for help fades away into the distance and you wonder, when will I be safe? 

What they don't understand is that they are hopeless, spoiled, and disgraceful. But, please don't tell them. Instead, show them that they misjudged you. Let them have their moment of power and dominance, because they are completely unaware of their impact on you. They think they know everything about you, like you're some sort of open book. No one can tell you how to write your story. Work hard behind the scenes, by putting in the after-hours, and go for the sneak attack. Think back to when they first started cursing you, and show them that you were the wrong person to be messed with. Show them that they were too busy being shallow and unhelpful, when they should have been pursuing their personalities and humor. 

You don't deserve to be treated in such an inhumane way. Think about how amazing and talented the people in our world could be if everyone practiced being supportive and kind. To all the haters, can you please explain to me why you want to be so rude to one another? Because, you're going to be wrong. All of the insults that you fire at your victims, become sparks inside their souls. And once those sparks are ignited, you haters better stand back because I have faith that these people will rise above the stars and render you speechless.

-N